the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm bleeding and have questions
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
