Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
