Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
