i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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