Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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