yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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