Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
