Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
