You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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