i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
