what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize