listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
