He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
whose parrot is this?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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