so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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