so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
