I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
