sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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