So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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