I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
