In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize