im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
