Buhtt sex?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
