She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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