when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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