don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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