i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
