My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
