Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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