You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
