We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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