All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
