Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
