I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
