I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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