He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
