i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
