I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
