i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
