i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
