he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
