What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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