Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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