you guys were way drunker than both of me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
