You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
