Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
