Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
