I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
