we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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