And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
