3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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