Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
