At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
