My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
