I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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