Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
