so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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